I remember the moment when I had the idea to do something totally new. It was unheard of before. The ones around me thought it to be so completely revolutionary and just totally out of this world. It's a concept that's been unheard of and to mention it brought about sheer joy to me.
It would be brilliant to do. I didn't need to do it... I just wanted to do it. Noone could really stop me from doing it. I mean, I'm the only one there is that's fully capable of doing whatever I wanted to do. So I did it. Again, such an unheard of thing. I created what I had envisioned... and man was it good... like not just those kinds of good where you shrug your shoulders, but the kind of good that causes the skies to applaud. And applaud they did... what I did was amazing and I like it. I enjoy what I do anyways, but this was different. And it made me smile.
Then I would do something beyond what was already unheard of which was to make a living mirror of myself. I put thought, a bit more effort, planning, and an even greater smile to this crowning project. And create him I did. He looked good. Alot of what he was like, I could see myself in. My smile was deeper than what could have been imagined. But I enjoyed this. He was new, different, and I personally stamped my seal of approval. I loved him, though he was alone and that didn't seem right to me. So I did another genius move. I'll bring him someone that'll compliment and meet his needs. And I did, and again, loved her too. And enjoyed just the freedom of my relationship with these two. It was grand.
The only dread I had was the failure of these two to be unable to pull through with the one thing that I told them not to do. "Don't eat from that tree..." I specifically told him. I do remember telling him don't eat it or else he'll die. Look at it all you want, touch it if you want to but just don't eat from the flippin tree... was that so hard? Apparently, but what broke me even more was he stood by and did nothing. I knew there was that pesky snake slithering around, a minor annoyance. I was in a relationship with them, they knew me and I knew them. I loved them, but they flipped me off as they ate. Granted they were lied to, but I did tell them not to eat, what more was there to be needed? What killed me the most was the fact that now instead of embracing them, I have to tearfully and heartbreaking separate myself from them. They look so shameful and pathetic and I just can't bring myself to look at them in that state... fig leaves? Seriously kids, that's the best you can do? FREAKIN' FIG LEAVES?! Now at that moment, in love, I covered them with the skin of an animal. That would be the first time they saw blood. The look on their faces as I covered their naked bodies broke me even more.
I had to do something. I loved them so much. And as they grew, they became more and more horrid. I couldn't see myself in them anymore. They got more and more rancid and the stench of their hearts and motives was too disgusting for me to even bear. So I ended it save for 8 people. Wasn't the best choice since the guy was a shameful drunk, but even still, I loved him anyways since I chose him to carry on humanity. He knew enough of me to know what I wanted out of him and he did it but still, something was needed and I knew it would be the hardest thing I could ever do, but it would turn out to be good for them.
The moment of truth arrived and I made the ultimate sacrifice. I sent him down there. And He performed perfectly. Never failed me once. Never faltered. Never surrendered. Never compromised. Never did apart from what He knew I required of Him. And I loved Him and everything He did down there. Flawless perfection in His style, His execution of what He did and made me proud. I wanted Him to keep doing what He was doing, but the time was nigh, and He had to face what I needed Him... wanted Him to face. They were suffering and I loved them, as did He. He had to. He knew it... I knew it... though the pain of it would be gut-wrenching and I knew I couldn't bear to watch. He could handle what was coming, though in His current condition, the stress would be excruciating. But necessary... for them... for those I love. Then they did it. I knew it was coming and they did what I knew they would do. Slung Him up there like a rag doll. Again, He performed well. Did it flawlessly the way I knew He would. What angered me the most was the fact that they ignored Him. I could have ended it all right there. But He wanted them to be forgiven... He cried that as He hung there. Of course they don't know what they're doing... if they only could comprehend what they were doing. They didn't... they COULDN'T... it was beyond their understanding... their spirituality couldn't handle it. It would much too overwhelming that they would die under the weight of it.... but He did it. I gave them the ultimate gift.
But as I look on since that moment... it's still crazy how more of them WON'T even consider me. They think that they hold the ultimate belief or that what they feel matters more than what I feel. They think that just being sincere is enough. Don't they know that they could be SINCERELY WRONG? Granted the people I'm asking to show me to them are flawed and not altogether perfect. But like they are? Those who deny me are walking around like major fools thinking that it's just them... those who don't know really don't want to find out... those who know ABOUT me are twisting my intentions and my ways into this proverbial mutated... THING that is a perversion of what I want out of them. Those who do know me... I'm surely helping those who ask.
And now as I watch it pains me even more... and so I ask
WHAT ABOUT WHAT I BELIEVE????? HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED WHAT I THINK/FEEL/BELIEVE/ATEST TO????? DOESN'T IT MATTER WHAT I SAY? DOESN'T MY OPINION COUNT?
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